What if...

I am a child of the 80’s. Sure I was born in ’77 but for all intents and purposes, I grew up in the 80’s and spent my teens in the 90’s. I listened to MC Hammer, wore balloons pants and vests, watched The Cosby Show, and hoped someday to drive a Viper.  I saw The Lion King in the movie theaters, and later watched it on VHS on a date no less.   I didn’t play sports and I wasn’t an academic all-star.  I was the kid who drifted somewhere in the middle never quite landing in one particular group.  I spent several years as the mop maid for the wrestling team and even tried to hang with the big dogs on the mat once or twice.  It was a place to belong.  I dated throughout the years.  Many who knew me would call me “boy crazy” and I guess maybe I was.  I graduated with honors in a class of over 400.  I left my home town to go away to school and graduated into the world in 2000.  

It’s easy to reminisce with things like Facebook.  As I began to find more and more people I knew from high school, I began to remember more and more of those days that I have left behind.  I went to my senior prom over 15 years ago and today, it seems like yesterday.  My class song was, “These are the days”, and they were…

Today, I am a mother of two.  I spend most of my days pouring juice, answering the never ending question of “why” and dealing with the ever elusive, “I’m bored”.  The days run together most of the time…the nights…well they are different.  My kids both still want “cuddle time” and they each still have a blankie.  I am still allowed to kiss and hug them as much as I want and some nights the board book favorites come out – Red hat, Green hat, Blue hat, opps!

And then…

Wait for it…

There is a hush over the house and every thought comes to mind.  Thoughts you were able to forget about with the busyness of the day.  Thoughts that landed like a fly and where off again, hardly being noticed.  Thoughts you wish would never take up residency but they have lived in your mind since you can’t remember when.  The ever famous, “what if” appears like a visitor that has over stayed his welcome.

What if…